Ever since I started reading I have wanted to write. It was most likely the Harry Potter series but I can’t exactly pinpoint when it was that these thoughts popped into my head. But the thought of creating a story and world that millions upon millions of people will love inspired and excited me. Because literature is such a huge part of my life I dreamt about the possibility of having people who loved a book that I wrote and having fans supporting my writing endeavours.
But the truth is, it’s incredibly hard. I have tried to write a novel so many times but I have never finished a full story. I know, it’s sad. But I can never stick with the one story for long. I have finished short stories and small novels etc but never a full book. This frustrates me to no end. The self-doubt creeps in only a few days into writing. ‘Is this really a good idea?’ or ‘no one will ever really notice or like this book.’ And before I know it, I don’t write one day. And not the next day either. And too soon I’ve forgotten the story altogether. Of course I’m saddened by the fact that it’s been left behind and I feel useless when I realise that I might never get a novel written.
However I also feel like even if I did finish the book I wouldn’t have the confidence to put myself out there and have someone read my story. I don’t want to go on about it too much but I feel as though my anxiety would never allow me to take the risk. To send something out that I love and worked so hard on to someone who may not even take the time of day to bother to read it or even worse, completely hate is disheartening. It’s almost enough to make me not even try.
But I will try. I recently came to the conclusion that I may not be the best writer or the most confident person but this is something I want to do. And because I want to do this so much I’ll persist. I’m still quite young and I have to be patient. I need to improve my writing skills and develop my literary knowledge over a period of time, I don’t need to write a masterpiece right now. Hell, J.K Rowling was just taking the train on a regular day when she had the idea for Harry Potter. Who knows when an idea will strike! I’m waiting for it to hit me. That life-changing idea.The last story I started writing got a couple of thousand words in before I put it down again even though I was so excited about it when I began. And despite me being in a stage of writer’s block right now I’m going to try harder than ever to make my dream come true.
I don’t particularly know why I’m writing this. Maybe there’s someone out there who can relate or who has had similar feelings(?) or perhaps even I can inspire someone to pick up that pen and paper or turn on their computers. But I do know that even though I feel as though I’ll never get it right I have a new resolve to do something about it. I also think I might start writing a journal/diary/idea book to help me sort out any possible story leads. I’ve heard this has helped so many people and I think it would really figure out my jumbled mind!
Do you have any advice for a person with writer’s block or lack of confidence? It would be greatly appreciated! Sorry this post isn’t very articulate!
Thank you so much for reading and I’ll talk to you in my next post!
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*Feature image found here: http://www.quoteswave.com/picture-quotes/380845
*Gif found here: http://giphy.com/gifs/writing-11ikeVaUfcXLWM